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10 most mentioned books on TwoChromosomes that will make you more knowledgable. rank no. 8
Ugh. Another ‘doesn’t want relationship’ boyfriend.(r/TwoXChromosomes)
This man is giving you a GIFT, take it and RUN. The gift is that he is telling you he is not up for the situation you want. It’s still early, move on. I have found that one of the fallacies of our beliefs about relationships is that people expect break-ups from shorter relationships to hurt less. This is not necessarily the case. But these break-ups do hurt for less time. You get the same crap feelings, but you only need to power through it for a brief period. Now is the time to do the math – the longer you stay with the guy the longer you will feel like crap when you break-up, which he just told you is what is going to happen. So, my lady buddy, what are you going to do?
On the way home from not letting the door of his apartment hit you on the bum on your way out, I recommend picking up a copy of It’s Called a Break-Up Because It’s Broken, which I found to be a super help all three times I broke up with Mr. Just-Not-Ready-For-A-Relationship-But-I-Loved-Courting-You. While you’re at it, if you have a pattern of this like I did (as your title implies), you might find a lesson from my life useful: narcissists are the types who court you with passionate ardor, but then pull away and wait for you to fill them up with your adoration. (The “I’ve been so hurt before” pity play is a pretty classic pull-away-and-adore-me one.) Look out for this type and don’t fall for it. In my experience, a good guy for me doesn’t treat me like a queen, a heaven-sent angel just for him, some sort of superhero girlfriend, or anything unworldly. He treats me just like a human being with flaws, a human being that he likes and respects. I had to say good-bye to a lot of romantic flourish and gushing compliments, but it worked out much better in the end.
Good luck to you, my sister!