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What’s the most common mistake people make when choosing their spouse?(r/AskMen)
Here are a few books I would highly recommend for men (and women as well):
Wild at Heart by John Etheredge. For Men. The companion book for Women is Captivating. These are Christian books, discussing God’s design for men and women. Even if you are not a Christian and have no desire to be, I think you may find some of the discussion very revealing or at the very least intriguing. These are not so much good “learn to communicate” books, as they are “understanding who I really am on a basic level” books.
Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs. Another Christian Book, this one on the biblical view of marriage. Again, if you’re not a Christian, I still recommend it as a resource for marriage. There are some fundamental principles of marriage that transcend religion that can benefit both spouses. For men and women.
Codependent No More by Melanie Beattie. This book is required reading if you or your partner grew up in a household with an addict (parent or sibling), an abusive parent, or single parent/divorced home with high conflict. It is not faith based, for men and women.
The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. This is a great book that breaks down how we’re all different, and we get our needs in a relationship satisfied in different ways. Understanding what your partner needs is fundamental to having a healthy relationship.
The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman. This is another great resource for understanding effective communication within an intimate relationship, whether you are male or female.
After that, if you have more specific issues in your story, like childhood trauma, there are more specific routes to go down. I also strongly encourage enlisting the aid of a counselor, therapist, and/or pastoral counselor if you or your partner are struggling with childhood baggage.