Book · 2009
Self-Therapy: A Step-by-Step Guide to Creating Wholeness Using IFS
by Jay Earley
Jay Earley writes a step-by-step manual for talking to your own internal parts, and r/internalfamilysystems says it beats anything IFS's own founder ever published.
What does Reddit think of Self-Therapy: A Step-by-Step Guide to Creating Wholeness Using IFS?
r/internalfamilysystems makes the sharpest claim in this dataset: the ↑49 comment says Self-Therapy and its companion workbook were 'way better than anything by Schwartz,' naming IFS's own founder as the standard it beats. The ↑47 comment narrows that further, calling it specifically good for walking a reader through the entire process step by step, while pointing a different, partnership-focused IFS book toward people who already know the basics. r/CPTSD tells a messier story. The ↑241 comment volunteers a preference for 'self-therapy by jay earley' over more CBT-flavored approaches, in the same breath as describing feeling invalidated by the advice to simply 'shut up the inner critic,' criticism aimed more at that technique's framing than at Earley specifically. Most of r/CPTSD's other top-upvoted comments here are personal trauma narratives that don't engage the book directly, which thins out what the subreddit's mention count actually demonstrates. None of these eight excerpts carry a sentiment score.
Community feedback & reader fit
Themes
- · Parts work (IFS) taught as a step-by-step self-guided process rather than therapist-led
- · Explicitly positioned against Richard Schwartz's own IFS books as the more usable entry point
- · A workbook companion treated as integral, not optional, to the method
- · Adopted alongside CPTSD-specific coping threads, not just within IFS's own community
Common praise
- + The ↑49 r/internalfamilysystems comment says the book and its workbook were 'way better than anything by Schwartz,' naming the method's own founder as the bar it clears.
- + The ↑47 comment singles it out as 'my favorite' specifically for walking readers through the entire IFS process step by step.
- + The ↑241 r/CPTSD comment reaches for it by name as a preferred alternative when CBT-style advice, 'shut up the inner critic,' falls flat.
Common criticism
- − The ↑241 comment's underlying complaint, feeling invalidated by advice to silence the inner critic, is aimed at the broader technique the book teaches, not resolved by naming the book as a preference.
- − Most of r/CPTSD's top-upvoted mentions here are personal trauma stories that don't engage the book's content directly, thinning out what the subreddit's mention count actually shows.
- − r/therapists, r/attachment_theory, and r/Meditation contribute only a handful of mentions combined with nothing quoted from any of them, so professional or clinical takes are absent from this sample.
Who it's for
Start here if you want to do parts work on your own time rather than in a therapist's office, since the ↑47 comment's whole pitch is that it walks you through the entire process step by step. Looking for something about couples or partnerships specifically? That's a different, narrower book, per the same comment, not this one. If Richard Schwartz's own writing left you cold, the ↑49 comment's comparison, calling this one 'way better than anything by Schwartz,' is the most direct endorsement in this dataset for trying Earley instead. Buy the companion workbook too. Nobody quoted here treats it as optional.
Mentions over time
Top subreddits
Which Reddit comments matter for Self-Therapy: A Step-by-Step Guide to Creating Wholeness Using IFS?
The most relevant excerpts across the subreddits where this book is mentioned — opinionated, argued takes first, then top-upvoted mentions. Click through to read the full thread.
“Did you feel invalidated? I felt it like that at the end of the book, when the author advises to "shut up" the inner critic. Like I didn't try that for my entire life lol. And always. Failing. Maybe you need something less CBT-ish and more EMDR or IFS. I prefer self-therapy by jay earley.
“Yes. I was going to go into the details, but I realized they don't matter. What does matter, is that yes, I can relate. It was like that for me for years and years, but it is not my experience anymore. I think some of the most helpful changes for the better were: 1) Acknowledging the abuse as abu…
“I can absolutely commiserate because my step kids trigger me extremely badly as well. Observing them being honoured, cared for, spoken to kindly, positively regarded, and provided with reasonable resources is difficult and gut wrenching when I compare it to my own childhood experiences. I have f…
“My life story.Exactly. I'm completely on my own. Lived one the loneliest and most miserable lives imaginable. Loneliness, addiction, pain body attacks, social anxiety, and lastly complete dissociation. Here's a virtual hug for you. I know how hard it is. I've recently discovered IFS and it has g…
“As humans we need to connect. We need to be seen and heard. That impulse is so strong, it can overpower everything else, even our other parts that are trying to keep us safe and well-functioning. There's nothing wrong with needing to be seen. We need to learn to find adaptive ways to meet that need…
“Self-Therapy by Jay Earley and the accompanying workbook were way better than anything by Schwartz in my opinion. I can’t exactly speak on your other question, because I was already doing somatic work alongside IFS, but I’m a firm believer that ANY successful trauma work needs to incorporate emotion…
“Yeah, I don't recommend this book as a first IFS book, perhaps second or third. It's specifically focused on close partnerships, so it's useless to you. I'm sad this was your introduction to IFS! My favorite is Jay Earley's \*Self-Therapy\* for walking you through the entire process step by step. I…
“IFS therapy is something that you can learn about and do on yourself. Here are some links to help you learn about it and get started, if you're interested: What is IFS Therapy? | Intro to Internal Family Systems - Dr. Tori Olds \[[](
“Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors by Janina Fisher Self-Therapy by Jay Earley (vol 1, ed 3) No Bad Parts by Richard Schwartz C-PTSD - From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker Self-compassion by Kristin Neff Buddha's Brain by Rick Hanson Trauma and Memory, In an Unspoken Voic…
“Self-Therapy: A Step-By-Step Guide to Creating Wholeness and Healing Your Inner Child Using IFS, A New, Cutting-Edge Psychotherapy, 2nd Edition book is usually a good starting point. Another book would be thi…
“The book Self-Therapy by Dr. Jay Earley is great.
“In the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model parts of our mind are still stuck in the past and until those events are processed we can't be fully present. The parts stuck in the past are called exiled parts. The book "Self-Therapy" by Jay Earley gives a good overview of it. > Exiles are young child …
“That’s literally this and how I got here Self-Therapy: A Step-By-Step Guide to Creating Wholeness and Healing Your Inner Child Using IFS, A New, Cutting-Edge Psychotherapy, 2nd Edition
“Yes! In fact, a book often recommended here, Self-Therapy by Jay Earley, is designed to do just that. the title has a double meaning -- you can do the work yourself, and IFS uses the term Self to describe the authentic you that is meant to lead all your parts with curiosity, compassion, etc. For w…
“So happy for you that you found comfort and answers with IFS. It had a similar effect on me. Other books: You're The One You've Been Waiting For by Richard Schwartz if you're interested in IFS for relationships. Or Jay Earley's Self-Therapy book if you want to do IFS on your own.
Convinced? Pick up Self-Therapy: A Step-by-Step Guide to Creating Wholeness Using IFS
Readers also mention
Books that share discussion threads with Self-Therapy: A Step-by-Step Guide to Creating Wholeness Using IFS — counted from the comments, not curated.
Guides featuring Self-Therapy: A Step-by-Step Guide to Creating Wholeness Using IFS
Ranked best-of lists and editorial guides where this book's tracked mentions place it.
Self-Therapy: A Step-by-Step Guide to Creating Wholeness Using IFS — frequently asked
Is Self-Therapy by Jay Earley better than Richard Schwartz's own IFS books?+
According to the ↑49 r/internalfamilysystems comment, yes, unambiguously: it calls Self-Therapy and its workbook 'way better than anything by Schwartz,' naming IFS's founder directly as the comparison point. That's the single strongest claim in this dataset, and nothing in the other displayed excerpts contradicts it.
Is Self-Therapy a good first IFS book?+
Yes, per the ↑47 comment, which specifically recommends it for 'walking you through the entire process step by step,' while steering a different, partnership-focused IFS title toward readers who already have the basics down. That makes Self-Therapy the beginner-friendly pick in this exact comparison, not the advanced one.
Does Self-Therapy help with CPTSD specifically?+
Partially, based on the ↑241 comment, which names it as a preferred alternative when more CBT-style advice, like being told to simply quiet the inner critic, feels invalidating. That's one person's preference stated directly, not a subreddit-wide verdict; most of r/CPTSD's other top-upvoted mentions here are personal trauma narratives that don't engage the book's content.
Do I need the workbook to go with Self-Therapy?+
The ↑49 comment treats book and workbook as a package, praising them together rather than singling out the text alone. Nothing in the displayed excerpts argues the book works fine without it, so treat the workbook as part of the recommendation, not an optional add-on.