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MIL skips our wedding because she’s dying. Except that she’s not dying. I need advice on how to feel and what to do.(r/JUSTNOMIL)
Please don’t let anyone tell you how to feel or what to feel. Feeling are information about what you are experiencing, what your internal state is. Listen to that voice.
We might be able to advise on how to react to emotions, but in and of them selves, emotions are info/data.
It sounds like your MIL is setting up a pattern of emotional manipulation and dishonesty. These make her an unsafe person. It is a good idea to keep a distance from things/people that are unsafe.
There are boundaries between all people. They are part of the natural social contract that exist between people. They tell us “I end here” and ” you start there”. Your MIL stomped on those boundaries. It may be time to make them more explicit and more firm.
If you haven’t already, I would recommend reading “Boundaries” by Henry Cloud. It helped me a lot. It has some good stuff to say about boundary stomping mamas.
Best of luck!