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Working out the “Nice Guy”; x-post from r/buddhism (mostly secular)(r/OneY)
It says a lot about how qualified the blogger is to speak about ‘nice guys’ when he copies a WikiHow article which copies a summary of Robert Glover’s psychological analysis of a ‘nice guy’, word by word, from his book No More Mr Nice Guy. This book is a self-help book which coins the term “nice guy syndrome”, a disorder whereby one tries too hard to please others whilst neglecting their own needs.
Ironically – likely unintentionally – the blogger also used the exact title of Mr Glover’s book without even researching or referencing the proper source, then slapped “Buddhist” in the title because this is a buddhism blog!
In reality, the blogger did no research other than looking at a WikiHow article and is instead using a one-dimensional feminist interpretation of how any guy who acts nice around a girl who he has feelings for is somehow “manipulating” this girl into having sex with him, because apparently he sees it as a transaction, where he is attempting to ‘trade’ his kindness for sexual or romantic favours.
How do I know this?
He would have understood that Robert Glover’s advice would have been directed primarily at people who were already in unhappy marital and romantic relationships and who genuinely sought approval from their peers out of the notion/fear that any slight imperfection would lose them this approval.
TL;DR: Read the book.