Most upvoted comment
10 most mentioned books on TwoChromosomes that will make you more knowledgable. rank no. 23
Walking home alone at night…(r/TwoXChromosomes)
Please, please please buy your friend a copy of “The Gift of Fear” by Gavin deBecker. He’s a violence predictor specialist and wrote the entire book on what the signs are that precursor violence in various situations (strangers, coworkers, significant others, etc). It will absolutely help her to develop smart strategies and responses for these types of encounters because yeah, they do happen.
I used to walk home from a job at midnight and almost every night a different man in a car would pull over and ask if I wanted a ride. I was new to that region of the country so I thought it was just its famous hospitality (although I never took anyone up on the offer because it was still weird) until I mentioned it to a coworker who flipped out on me. Evidently his roommate was murdered by some men who offered her a ride, and he let me in on the information that I was being solicited for prostitution.
If your friend really believes that she is being stalked or followed by this guy the book will help her develop a strategy. Pepper spray is great, never wearing headphones so she’s always aware of the sounds around her would be great, and communicating that you are not an easy victim is absolutely great. That’s all body language and turning to stare someone down if you think they’re following you, instead of ducking your head and walking faster, hoping they’re not and that they go away. It also lays out exactly what verbal tactics someone is using to get a potential victim off-balance and away from others so they’ll be easier to prey on.
Okay, the book says it better than me in my mish-mashed fashion. Sorry, I have strong feelings about it because it really helped me not feel so helpless in a world that is honestly scary. The men in the cars were unsettling, and I’ve had many other frightening experiences with strangers when I’ve been dressed in my kitchen clothes (which are not flattering, lemme tell ya), been grubby and tired, not times when I was expecting any sort of male attention. This is just the reality that most women deal with. You’ve asked all of these women what they do and what their strategies are and they’ve given you lists because this stuff has to be on our minds.
For anyone who’s read this far and has children, he also wrote “Protecting the Gift”, a guide to keeping children safe. There’s a lot of repetition between information but some predatory strategies are child-specific and rest on separating a child from their parents and it explores that.
Edited to clean up some phrasing.