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4 year-old screaming. Nothing works and we are going insane.(r/Parenting)
>Our current attempt (2 days so far) is a star system where good behavior gets a star and screaming (or sulking for hours, which my older kid does) loses a star. After 10 stars they get some bonus like a nature show or a reading game on my tablet. So far my younger kid is at 0 because several times a day he just loses it.
If you’re going to do a behavior chart, do them right. Don’t take away stars he’s earned. Those are his, and a mistake now doesn’t undo the good he did earlier. As you note yourself, he’s got literally 0 incentive at this point because he’s not a perfect human being. You’re looking for incremental progress, not sudden perfection. Leave the stars on there to encourage the good behaviors. I’m going to page u/ytommy here because reward systems are his thing so his advice will probably be more accurate than mine.
I’d be more inclined to take a proactive problem-solving approach, as outlined in The Explosive Child.
Whatever method you use, don’t expect results in just a couple of weeks. This is a long-term issue and it’s going to need long-term work to resolve.