Most upvoted comment
I’m in the closet because I want a normal family, but now I’m completely confused on what to do at 22. Advice?(r/lgbt)
Please read this whole comment; I write it with compassion. You asked for advice! Here’s a bunch of inconsiderate words.
You will not have a “normal family” as one half of a straight couple, two biological kids and a dog. You will not have a normal heterosexual relationship. You already know this, you just don’t want to deal with it. Either you’ll be lying to yourself and your girlfriend (that’s not normal!) or you’ll be honest with her about your sexuality (which is not 100% straight).
The more quickly you let go of “normal” the less painful it will be. There is in reality NO NORMAL. There are majorities and minorities; that doesn’t mean that those in the minority are abnormal. (When compared to people who are 99% straight, you are actually in the minority in this situation.)
Try small steps first. You should tell your friend (with whom you are very close!) that you think you might be gay, or bisexual. See what she thinks about that. You would want her to know this, right?
You don’t need to find a Life Partner right now. You’re 22. For God’s sake, pull your head out of your ass, go out to a (gay) bar and dance your butt off. Try finding a date first, before you start planning your wedding. Slow the fuck down! 🙂
You can raise children with another man, if you want. You can even fuck a woman and get her pregnant, and then raise the child as your own. You can adopt or foster. Go read The Kid by Dan Savage.
Don’t agree to do something you don’t want to do, trying to avoid hurting your friend’s feelings. It won’t help in the long run. Try dating her first? It might work, it might not, you need to find that out first.
>I just wouldn’t feel comfortable with that lifestyle. I know my friends and family would accept that I am gay, but I just don’t want that.
There is no “lifestyle.” You are living a “queer lifestyle” right now because you are queer and your heart is beating. You don’t have a choice.
I think that if your friends and family will accept that you’re queer, you should also accept that you’re queer. Everything will become easier and more honest when you accept it. You won’t have to worry about these things. That I can definitely promise!