Book · 1936
How to Win Friends and Influence People
by Dale Carnegie
A 1936 salesman's manual argues you'll get further remembering someone's name and asking about their day than by being right.
What does Reddit think of How to Win Friends and Influence People?
This is the highest-sentiment book in the batch, and it's not close. 95 of 130 mentions come from r/selfimprovement, where it works like a password rather than a topic of debate: the ↑251 comment is genuinely just the title, dropped with no elaboration needed. The ↑354 comment recommends it specifically for someone trying to build friendships and family ties instead of dating, calling it 'an easy read.' The ↑180 comment is the most interesting one here: it flags the book as 'controversial, I know' before crediting it with cutting social anxiety, which tells you Reddit is aware of the book's manipulative-self-help reputation while using it anyway. The ↑258 comment calls it a game changer, then pivots immediately to recommending a different author instead. Nobody here argues the advice is wrong. The disagreement, such as it is, is about whether admitting you like a Dale Carnegie book is embarrassing.
Community feedback & reader fit
Themes
- · dated self-help that still works
- · the controversial-but-effective admission
- · social anxiety use case
- · one item in a longer stack, not the whole stack
Common praise
- + The ↑180 comment credits it with directly cutting social anxiety, not just 'helping.'
- + The ↑354 comment recommends it as an easy read for building actual friendships, not networking.
Common criticism
- − The ↑180 comment calls it 'controversial, I know' before recommending it, Reddit admitting the book's reputation precedes it.
- − The ↑258 comment praises it, then immediately recommends a different author instead, so the enthusiasm doesn't anchor to Carnegie for long.
Who it's for
Struggling with social anxiety, rather than chasing better networking tips? The ↑180 comment is the one to read, since that's the exact use case it credits the book with fixing. Trying to build friendships and family relationships rather than date? That's the ↑354 pitch. Already think 1930s advice about winning people over sounds manipulative? You're not wrong by Reddit's own admission; several commenters flag the same discomfort before recommending it anyway.
Mentions over time
Top subreddits
Which Reddit comments matter for How to Win Friends and Influence People?
The most relevant excerpts across the subreddits where this book is mentioned — opinionated, argued takes first, then top-upvoted mentions. Click through to read the full thread.
“I’m a serial dater and I’m doing my best to NOT be in a relationship. Focus on friendships and family. Actually practice giving. And I don’t mean items, I mean genuine attention, effort, and joy to those around you. read the book “How to win friends and influence people” it’s an easy read and ta…
“Here are some things I wish I valued at a younger age... 1) Find some hobbies. Stress is a killer, so combat it proactively with things you enjoy. 2) Spend time with those you love, especially family. Once you move on to college, trade school, or work, it gets even harder to get together. 3) Di…
“How to win friends and influence people is honestly a game changer when dealing with people. Brianna Wiest's books are also amazing and pose very good questions that we usually ignore when living our day to day life. Would recommend either "101 Essay that will change the way you think" or "The Mou…
“How to Win friends and influence people
“One habit at a time. Do not attempt the next one until you have the previous one reasonably locked in. If you try to start too many habits at once you will be stretched thin and any disruption will cascade to all habits that are in flight. 1. Go to sleep and wake up at the same time every day, incl…
“How to win friends and influence people.. controversial I know, but it really helped my social anxiety just knowing that people only care about their own problems and talking to them about their lives takes so much pressure off of you.
“I never read it… but you should absolutely read HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE. An absolute classic
“You might think I sound crazy, but this is how I began to fix my social issues. I got a job in retail. These jobs totally suck ass. But you can use them to practice how to work with people. Read "How to win friends and influence people" And practice the lessons taught every day on new people that …
“Journalling is the best thing I've ever done. You can literally read back at every good and bad thing you've done and improve from there, the best. For friends, reading How to win friends and influence people has been really good. Basically, just take a genuine interest in the other person. Self E…
“The best book I've read on self-improvement is How to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie. It made me much better at speaking with people and getting more friends.
“How to Win Friends and Influence People It’s a classic and talked about quite a bit but still holds up. The main takeaway is that becoming genuinely interested in other people can solve a lot of your issues. Learn people’s names, talking to people about themselves, not meaninglessly debating/arguin…
“Even if your your the best in the world: "How to win friends and Influence people"
“How to Win Friends and Influence People by Carnegie. Its old and so you may feel it is dated and so so…but I think it holds up well and is an easy read thru, worth a read folks.
“How to Win Friends and Influence People This book single handily improves my communication with people. From a mere boy that's always been in a fight, to a man that became a leader and great conversationalist, I owe it to that book. Highly recommended indeed!
“>How to win friends and influence people I'd highly recommend this one as well.
Convinced? Pick up How to Win Friends and Influence People
Readers also mention
Books that share discussion threads with How to Win Friends and Influence People — counted from the comments, not curated.
Guides featuring How to Win Friends and Influence People
Ranked best-of lists and editorial guides where this book's tracked mentions place it.
How to Win Friends and Influence People — frequently asked
Is How to Win Friends and Influence People still relevant almost a century later?+
By mention volume and sentiment, yes, it's the highest-sentiment book in this dataset, with 95 of 130 tracked mentions from r/selfimprovement alone. The ↑251 comment doesn't even elaborate, just drops the title as a complete recommendation, which is its own kind of evidence.
Does Reddit think How to Win Friends and Influence People is manipulative?+
Some readers clearly worry about that going in. The ↑180 comment opens with 'controversial, I know' before crediting the book with helping social anxiety, an acknowledgment that the reputation exists, followed by a recommendation anyway.
Is How to Win Friends and Influence People good for social anxiety specifically, not just networking?+
The ↑180 comment says so directly, describing it as something that 'really helped my social anxiety' by reframing that people mostly care about their own problems. That's a more specific claim than the general professional-networking framing the book is often sold on.
What do people usually recommend alongside How to Win Friends and Influence People?+
It varies by thread rather than clustering around one companion book. The ↑258 comment praises it, then pivots to recommending Brianna Wiest's essay collections instead. There's no repeated pairing across the displayed comments the way some other books in this dataset get one.