Book · 2003
No More Mr. Nice Guy
by Robert A. Glover
A therapist diagnoses the Nice Guy syndrome — covert contracts, approval-seeking, hidden resentment — and explains why it makes men worse partners and worse people.
What does Reddit think of No More Mr. Nice Guy?
No More Mr. The two r/getdisciplined mentions are both recommendation posts. Mention volume has picked up since 2022: five mentions in 2024, four in 2025, compared to one each in 2019 and 2020. The book is gaining traction, not fading. The framing in r/selfimprovement is striking. The top comment (↑269) names it alongside a self-diagnosis: 'I have been a selfish, dishonest, manipulative prick for a long time now. Working on it though.' That's Glover's argument in a sentence — Nice Guy behavior isn't kindness, it's a covert bid for approval that turns ugly when unreciprocated. The ↑58 comment calls it a 'punch in the gut' wake-up call. The ↑52 comment: 'Wish I read it at 20 not 45.' It gets grouped with Can't Hurt Me and David Goggins material, which tells you something about the emotional register its readers are in. Nobody on Reddit disputes the diagnosis.
Community feedback & reader fit
Themes
- · Covert contracts and approval-seeking behavior
- · Authenticity vs. people-pleasing
- · Masculinity, boundaries, and self-respect
- · Resentment as a consequence of suppressed needs
Common praise
- + The ↑269 r/selfimprovement comment treats it as a mirror — readers recognize the behaviors Glover describes and find the recognition itself useful.
- + The 'punch in the gut' characterization (↑58) is consistent: the book doesn't let you off the hook for behavior you thought was virtuous.
- + Multiple commenters wish they'd read it decades earlier, which is a specific kind of endorsement that cuts through the noise.
Common criticism
- − It gets shelved alongside pickup-adjacent reading lists in some r/selfimprovement threads, which muddies what the book is actually arguing.
- − Two r/getdisciplined mentions in seven years suggests the book hasn't broken into the broader discipline community in the way r/selfimprovement has adopted it.
Who it's for
Read this if you've ever done something 'selfless' and then quietly resented the person you did it for. Glover calls that a covert contract, and if the term resonates, the book has your number. The r/selfimprovement crowd recommends it to men who describe themselves as chronic helpers who feel invisible — the ↑52 comment from someone who read it at 45 and wished they'd had it at 20 is the clearest use case. If you're already working on direct communication and boundary-setting, the framework here will feel familiar; if you're not, it's an uncomfortable read in the right way.
Mentions over time
Top subreddits
Which Reddit comments matter for No More Mr. Nice Guy?
The most relevant excerpts across the subreddits where this book is mentioned — opinionated, argued takes first, then top-upvoted mentions. Click through to read the full thread.
“No more Mr Nice Guy by Dr Robert Glover. I have been a selfish, dishonest, manipulative prick for a long time now. Working on it though
“This response saved me the trouble of typing a long one up. Pay attention to it and start today. Read “Can’t hurt me” and “Never Finished” by David Goggins. Read “No more Mr. Nice Guy” by Robert Glover. Start asking “who do I want to be?” Every. Single. Day. Then take small incremental steps toward …
“No More Mr Nice Guy by Robert A. Glover is an audiobook or book if you like to read that you should look into. I just got out of a relationship and this book helped me open my eyes that my relationship wasn't as good as I thought. Are there moment in times where I think about her yes but its not as…
“Plenty but top 3 are - No more Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover - When I say No I feel Guilty by Manuel Smith - Can’t hurt me by David Goggins
“(1) 48 laws of power, Robert Greene. (just take the general concepts, don't overthink or get lost in the idea of manipulating people). (2) The rationale male, Rollo Tomassi. (3) The superior man. (4) How to make friends and influence people. (5) 4-hour work week, Tim Ferris. (6) The Charisma M…
“"No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Robert Glover will definitely punch you in the gut if you identify with this post at all. Talk about a 'wake up call' book.
“No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover. Wish I read it at 20 not 45.
“Easy, - No more Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover
“* Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends & Influence People was definitely a life changing read. I've read it a long time ago but I still find myself referring to it during difficult conversations. It's not just a way for you to communicate but also see things differently. I recently had a problem with …
“To me the part that really stands out is the fact you only have 1 friend (by your own admission). My advice would be to make friends with other women. Dr Robert Glover talks about this in his “No More Mr Nice Guy” book; of course through the lens of men but it can still be applicable to women imo. …
“Men who refers themself as "nice guys" are cringe. Read no more mr nice guy by robert glover.
“The War of Art - Steven Pressfield The Alchemist - Paulo Coelho The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck - Mark Manson Daring Greatly (chapters 1-4) - Brene Brown Atomic Habits - James Clear No More Mr Nice Guy - Robert Glover The Body Keeps The Score - Bessel van der Kolk Four Thousand Weeks - O…
“"No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Dr. Robert Glover I'm still reading and working through the activities in this book... It's helping me to break out of the mindset of needing to please other people. It's getting me to focus on my own needs, to focus on making myself happy and feel loved rather than trying…
“If you have nice guy tendancies, read no more mr nice guy by donald glover, great book!
“Good stuff man! I'm making some changes as well. One of you beautiful b******* mentioned Dr. Robert Glover's *No More Mr. Nice Guy* a month or so ago and I've read it twice, and joined a Men's Group last week. After I finished my second read through, someone in the group recommended Glover's *Dating…
Convinced? Pick up No More Mr. Nice Guy
What else does r/selfimprovement read?
Other books mentioned in the same sub, ranked. Shared-sub overlap with this title breaks ties.
Guides featuring No More Mr. Nice Guy
Ranked best-of lists and editorial guides where this book's tracked mentions place it.
No More Mr. Nice Guy — frequently asked
What does Reddit think of No More Mr. Nice Guy?+
Consistently positive across 15 mentions, all different commenters. r/selfimprovement drives 13 of those mentions, and the framing is usually personal: readers recognize themselves in Glover's description of covert contracts and approval-seeking. The ↑269 top comment includes a frank self-assessment alongside the recommendation. Nobody shows up to argue with the premise.
Is No More Mr. Nice Guy actually about being a jerk instead of being nice?+
No, though the title makes it easy to misread. Glover's argument is that Nice Guy behavior is covert manipulation: you act helpful to earn approval, then resent people when approval doesn't arrive. The fix isn't rudeness — it's directness and authentic self-interest. The r/selfimprovement commenter who called it a 'wake up call' (↑58) isn't describing a book that teaches cynicism.
Should I read No More Mr. Nice Guy if I'm already in therapy?+
Yes, and it works well as a complement. Glover is a licensed therapist and the book reads like a patient case file — specific, clinical, uncomfortable. Several r/selfimprovement readers pair it with Goggins for the discipline angle and Smith's When I Say No, I Feel Guilty for the communication piece. It's not a replacement for therapy, but it puts language to things that can take months to surface in sessions.
Is No More Mr. Nice Guy a red-pill book?+
Reddit doesn't treat it that way, though it appears in a few lists alongside The Rational Male. The distinction matters: Glover's target is covert approval-seeking in men, not a framework about gender relations. Read the book before filing it.